The subject of beauty will always provoke intense and diverse debate. For example, the one on whether or not women go through a rigorous beauty regimen in order to attract and please men. Here Dr Cassandra George Sturges gives a uniquely provocative twist to the issue of beauty, beginning with how the “alpha male” characteristics can help determine whether a woman is a Barbie Doll, Faded or a Timeless Beauty. Find out who you are.
I think that it is because we [women] seek external approval to validate our existence, [and] we feel that if we are perfect enough we will then be worthy enough to attract and keep the true love – the perfect man, who will adore and respect us. But the truth of the matter is, no man is ever going to love and respect us more than we love and respect ourselves. Here is why:
Who are alpha males? Show me a man who is wealthy and famous and I’ll show you a man who is 99.9% likely to be unfaithful in a committed relationship. The alpha male is the individual in the community who others follow and defer to. Humans and their nearest species- relatives, the chimpanzees, show deference to the alpha of the community by ritualised gestures such as bowing, allowing the alpha to walk first in a procession, or standing aside when the alpha challenges. Canines also show deference to the alpha pair in their pack, by allowing them to be the first to eat and, usually, the only pair to mate. The status of the alpha is generally achieved by means of superior physical prowess. Listed here are some of the characteristics of the human alpha male.
· When a man is extraordinarily wealthy it doesn’t matter how physically attractive he is because his wealth is a babe magnet.
· Women will always throw themselves at men who are wealthy, successful or famous in order to improve their standard of living.
· Most alpha males, even when they are in a committed relationship, will seek sexual intimacy outside of that relationship.
· Most alpha males have difficulty interconnecting sex, love and loyalty into one package.
· Alpha males generally believe that they deserve to have more than one woman.
· Alpha males not only collect expensive cars, guns, cigars and antiques, their collection also includes sexual relationships with beautiful women.
· Having a bevy of beautiful women is encouraged and expected behaviour of wealthy, successful men.
· Alpha males need Barbie Dolls in order to maintain their ultra masculine male dominant status in society. Barbie Dolls have the ultra female characteristics that complement his superior status.
Barbie Doll characteristics
· Barbie Dolls are plastic. You must spend money on cosmetic surgery to maintain your youthful appearance at all cost. Implants, liposuction, rhinoplasty, breast lifts, cellulite removal, botox injections, chemical peels and other techniques to maintain or obtain your outer appearance are necessary in order to compete for his affection and attention.
· Barbie Dolls do not talk. Alpha men need a woman who is not going to complain about his long work hours, time that he spends with his “boys”, his relationship with other women and his lack of participation in domestic matters.
· Barbie Dolls smile all the time. The alpha male needs a woman who doesn’t reveal her feelings of unhappiness in the relationship. She is going to smile when she learns that he has conceived a child outside of the committed relationship.
· Barbie Dolls can be placed on the shelf when the alpha male is finished playing with her. When he falls in love with a younger, hipper, new model with fuller lips, he doesn’t have to worry about the long term effects of breaking her heart.
· Barbie Dolls need and seek material accessories. The alpha male knows that as long as he is willing to buy her big, fancy homes, expensive cars and jewellery, he doesn’t have to worry about being faithful and loyal to the relationship. Barbie Dolls need a lot of expensive monetary upkeep. The alpha male has the money to give her whatever she needs because it validates his wealth and prestige.
· Barbie Dolls can travel or move at a moment’s notice. She has a travel case that comes with her because she does not have a career or goals that cannot be sacrificed or thwarted for an alpha male. She changes locations based on the needs of the alpha male.
· Barbie Dolls are always perfect and gorgeous, even naked. Alpha males need trophy wives and arm pieces to accompany them to fancy events. Dieting, exercising and maintaining an impeccable physical appearance is essential to remain attractive to the alpha male. The Barbie Doll’s desirability is based on her ability to keep the alpha male sexually interested and satisfied due to the competition and availability of other dolls.
· The Barbie Doll’s youth and unchanging beauty is her greatest asset. She has a short shelf life. She must have as many children as quickly as possible to insure her financial future in old age when she is no longer attractive or able to reproduce.
· Barbie Dolls don’t ask questions. She is not going to question the alpha male about their future together, his assets or his Swiss bank account. She doesn’t question pre-nuptial agreements because she knows that her time is limited in the relationship be-cause she will not be able to compete with the newer models and editions that are marketed each year.
· Barbie Dolls are hollow on the inside because they must have extremely low self-esteem in order to put up with the alpha male’s malarkey. The alpha male’s presence in her life validates her external existence. She believes that her external, physical appearance is the depth of who she is.
Have you ever noticed a woman who looks all of 55, but is trying to look and act as if she is 25? A faded beauty is a woman who feels and projects in her behaviour that her best years are behind her, and that her self-esteem and self-worth are based on her physical appearance and how she compares to other women. A faded beauty desperately holds on to her youthful beauty fearing that without it she is invisible. Here are the signs that you are a faded beauty:
· In high school, college or during your general youth you were considered to be the most beautiful and hottest girl around. The guys adored you and you could have any man you wanted. Now that you have married and/or had children you feel frumpy, old and unattractive. Without your looks, you have no idea of who you are and where you belong in life. You spend most of your time thinking about how you used to look back in your heyday.
· You haven’t changed your hairstyle, make-up, or style of clothes since you were 17 years old. You psychologically compare yourself to younger women, thinking to yourself how you could take their man if you were 10 years younger.
· You wear heavy make-up to hide the bags under your eyes, the wrinkles and age spots on your face. You feel that without your make-up you are unattractive, even when going for a walk or quick run to the grocery shop or petrol station.
· Your focus is completely on how you can improve or how you hate your appearance.
· You haven’t learned anything new in the last 10 years. You don’t read books, you haven’t taken any classes, and you don’t volunteer your time. You are bored with your own life.
· If you talked to someone who had not spoken to you in 10 years, what new things would you tell them about your life? If you have nothing new to talk about you are a faded beauty; not be-cause of the natural changes in your physical body but because of the lack of changes in your contribution to this existence, even if it’s trying a new recipe or taking a dance class.
· You don’t like to leave the house because you don’t look the way you did prior to giving birth to your children or simply due to gaining weight. Faded beauties think that their self-worth is nothing more than their physical appearance.
· You don’t bother to buy new clothes or wear make-up, because you feel that you need to lose the weight first or have cosmetic surgery before you can love and accept yourself.
Oprah Winfrey, Meryl Streep, Angelina Jolie, Barbara Streisand, Queen Latifah and Sophia Loren are a few of the women whom I consider to be ageless beauties. An ageless beauty is like wine, each passing year she becomes more beautiful than the previous year, not because of what she looks like on the outside no matter how physically attractive she is, but because who she is on the inside exudes class, charisma, compassion and personal integrity that is authentic and alluring. There is something special about her that is irreplaceable. Who she is… is so powerful and wonderful that she is beyond comparison to other women and methods of physical improvement.
· They wear clothes that express their individual personality, soul and body.
· They mesmerise and captivate people with their wisdom, ideas, empathy and compassion for others.
· They are physically and psychologically irreplaceable. You cannot put another body, face, or person in their place. Their personalities are dynamic and alluring and when they are gone they will be sorely missed.
· They are not “drama queens” or “divas”, they are easy to get along with and are team players. They have a humbleness and humility about them that is breathtaking.
· They are not involved in intimate relationships where they are not honoured and respected by their partners. They are either happy alone or in a committed relationship with a man who loves them unconditionally.
· They do not try to act or wear attire for a woman who is half their biological age. They look healthy and enjoy being in their own skin and exude an unexplainable beauty. They have interests, talents and abilities that they display in a positive light. They enjoy volunteering and sharing their wisdom and life experiences with others.
· As they age, their make-up becomes more subtle, not as a fashion statement but simply because they have learned over time that their true beauty cannot be hidden underneath their make-up.
· They are not afraid to say no. They have learned to honour their time on earth. They are not people pleasers and do not allow others to impose requests on their time.
· They are confident in expressing their own opinions, ideas, and beliefs without worrying about offending others. They are confident and wise enough to accept and respect opinions that are different from their own without feeling threatened.
· You can’t figure out why they are beautiful. They just are.